INJURY OF THE DAY

Nurse Long's Diagnosis:

Corrugated Spine

Commonly found in vertebrates. Can lead to chronic cowardice, particularly when complicated with ‘Jaundiced Back’. Can be treated with a course of treatments on the medieval rack, or by regularly practicing that bit from Saturday Night Fever where people point up in the air a lot.

INJURY OF THE DAY

Nurse Long's Diagnosis:

Spondulating Heart

More commonly caused by listening to too many power ballads. Causes excessive soppiness and crying in the presence of puppies. May lead to becoming a new man, avoid at all costs. Recommended course of action; kicking a wall while shouting while listening to Motorhead.

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